Over the past few days, I have been trying to gather my heavy thoughts of another Pastor taking his own life. As a faithful follower and sibling of a Pastor (Now Bishop), my posture immediately turned to intercession. But as a psychologist, there are more sentiments that I would like to share. As I see the timelines flood with prayer requests for pastors all over the land (which is essential), I believe that another crucial component is for the body of Christ and church culture to be more willing participants in dismantling the stigma of mental health, allowing Bishops, Elders, Pastors and members alike to know that it is OK seek out professional help. Therapy is OK.

It is important for all of us to realize that Pastors are human too. Because they are men and women of God, as we call them, it does not mean that they are exempt from the cares of life. They are faced with, losses, family stress, sibling conflict, parenting issues, trauma and issues of everyday life, just as we all are. They are also faced with these issues on top of their roles and responsibilities as a Pastor, which may actually exacerbate many of their concerns.

While I agree that it is important for pastors to have mentors, family, friends and other pastors that they can confide in, it is NOT the same thing as talking to a professional. There is a difference with venting to your mentor and seeking the professional help of a licensed counselor, psychologist, and or psychiatrist who is clinically trained to help with the severity of issues such as depression, anxiety, trauma, and suicidal ideation , just to name a few.

I often ask people (church people especially) who are not sure about seeking counseling for themselves to ponder on a few things. When we need legal advice, we seek an attorney right? When we have a physical Illness, we seek medical help don’t we? Yes!!! Just as we as believers know that “Jesus is a lawyer in a court room and a doctor in a sick room”, he can, will and HAS also healed through psychologists and other doctors in the mental health field. God ordained, prophetic, delivering psychologist are real and available. How do I know, I AM ONE OF THEM!! And I personally know more.

I believe that so many of us, especially the church, may have the wrong idea or do not really know what counseling or therapy consist of, so we shun it. “The church often takes the position of demonizing what it cannot understand or recommends the default remedy-pray it through” (Ministers Mental Health Manual, Dr. Faith Wokoma). While some things can be prayed through, some things need to be worked through. This is where the therapeutic process comes in. It is more than just coming in laying on the couch and talking with someone. Therapy is the management and or treatment of something by a healing process. Therapy is a HEALING PROCESS. “It is a process that can identify and extract wounds that have impacted your personality or character and now may prohibit you from living a full life “(Dr Faith Wokoma). Can I let you in on a secret? We all have experienced wounds, hurts, trauma and losses that have impacted our lives, personality and character. We all can use the healing process of therapy, especially those with additional roles and responsibilities within the church.

So today, for every Bishop, Pastor, Elder, or anyone operating in the fivefold, I come against the spirit of shame or feelings of inadequacies, where you feel like you can’t admit that you may suffer from some of the same anguishes that you have helped your congregants walk through. I bind the spirit of defeat that you feel where you can’t seem to fix what’s going on with you or your loved ones, but you can absolutely fix what’s going on in the lives of others. There is relief! I come against the worry that you ruminate daily about what people might think if they knew you were struggling and wanted to seek help. Help is available to you! In my clients first session I thank and congratulate them for making one of the hardest but bravest decisions of their lives.

Not only is it beneficial for pastors to seek therapy, it is also essential for them to encourage their leaders and congregations to do the same thing. For those pastors that have licensed and experience mental health professionals in your ministry, utilize them to help with the mental health awareness and fortitude of your ministry. Allow them to teach your staff, leaders, (whom are often your first responders) the basic attending skills in order to help them become more emphatic and aware. This is vital since ministry work, while fulfilling, can also be hard, intense, hurtful, offensive, and demanding and can serve as stressors and triggers for the members and leaders. Ministry requires stable mental health. Do not disregard it, deal with it! If you need assistance and or referrals. I can help you. Thanks for listening, I would love to hear your thoughts. #drowensspeaks #ministryandmentalhealth